Choices

Earlier in the year, I wrote a blog in which I mentioned that I hoped for a few firsts in 2013.  Well I should have watched what I asked for because I’ve sure received them!

A trip to the ER

First daily medication

First grey hairs (just a COUPLE) J

Lines around my eyes (boohoo)

While it seems like most of these occurred overnight they have been in work for awhile.  It just sometimes takes a long time for effects to be visible or felt.  Much like sin. 

Sin usually starts innocently enough.   “I’ll just do this once, it’s really no big deal, no one will know” ….but sin feels good and is hard to stop once the avalanche begins.  A person doesn’t normally turn away from God overnight.  It happens slowly.  Priorities begin to shift and an “it’s all about me and what I want” mentality creeps into the mind.  This is a frightening place to be.  Why? Because we are feeding and coddling the carnal and starving the spiritual man.  It is hard to feel the presence of God and hear His voice when our spiritual man is gasping for breath. 

Life can be taken in an instant.  We won’t always have tomorrow or even the next hour.  We won’t always have the next churchservice to get right with God.  If there is something pulling you away from God, I’d like you to take a moment and think is it really worth it?  Is it worth losing my testimony?  Is it worth not living the life of an overcomer?  It’s not always sin that pushes us from God…sometimes weights move us off track.  What are weights?  Weights are anything that takes priority over our personal relationship with Christ.

Hebrews 12: 1 -3 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience, the race that is set before us, 2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.

If you find yourself weary and faint there is good news!  If we will only listen, we can still hear the peaceful call of His voice.  I miss our time together.  We must tune in to His voice.  Slow down.  Read the word.  Commune with the Father. 

I love the story of King David.  He royally messed up in a lot of areas but he was not bitter, was a worshipper, was hard working, and committed.  He was a man after God’s heart. If we have found ourselves struggling we can choose to learn and grow from those struggles.  They don’t have to weigh us downforever. 

The wake up call I received earlier in the year, regarding my health, has created a determination to change.  While I wish I had never got that unhealthy and overweight, the two choices I now have are to continue hurting my body with bad choices or make up my mind that I am going to make good choices.  Even though I still carry the weight of unhealthy eating, I already feel better than I have in a long time! While we may still carry the effects of sin or things that have weighed us down…. all we have to do is make up our mind.  This is it.  This is the day I choose God first.  I choose to feed the spiritual and starve the carnal.  I choose to be an overcomer.  What will YOU choose?  I pray you choose to be an overcomer.  “If you do what you can, God will do what you can’t.”

A New Year

Although I have had about two weeks off from work, we’ve been quite busy lately.  Despite the holiday festivities and family get-togethers, we did have a few days of complete laziness.  I’m so grateful for those three days of slothfulness – a body needs that every once in a while!  While off work, my biggest decisions were: should I read a book, watch little house, get on pinterest, organize, or cook?  (Ben bought me the entire season of Little House last year and we’ve almost finished it.  I cry every other show.  I’m a sap.) The break from everything was NICE.  

All of last week I was sick.  It was awful and I’m still getting over it.  I’ve missed the last two church services and I hate to miss church.  I am also not happy about missing three days of work already this year!  Thank goodness for paid time off and an understanding boss.

Normally at this time of the year, I’ve already written a set of at least 20 goals/resolutions for the New Year.  This year I haven’t, which is unlike me because I loooove to plan and am very goal oriented.  Just ask Ben – I drive him crazy.    

Maybe  I haven’t written any because I know what I need to do.  

Stop doing things that aren’t good for me (a quote from my cousin nurse Abby)

& 

 Begin things that ARE good for me

 

I will strive to be consistent, disciplined, and knowledgeable

The most difficult is learning to be disciplined.  Yowzers that one is HARD for me!

I’ve decided to do a few things.  

#1 Limit FB activity..  Basically, the bad sometimes outweighs the good.  I waste too much time on it and  tire of being disappointed by many of the posts that I see.  Yes, yes, I know.  People are free to post what they want but I am free to decide what I will read.  I’ve grown tired of vulgar words, woe is me posts, and immodest photos that when liked by my fb friends appear in my newsfeed.  Here is the kicker…the things that are bothering me are making  ME critical of others.  I don’t want to be critical.  I want to love.

#2 Read a book a week.  I miss reading and now that I’m not in school (WOOHOO!) I will have more time to read and learn about things I’m interested in.  Handwriting  analysis, body language, personality books, spy novels, organization for the home, books on managing  time, God’s WORD.  

#3 Walk 30 minutes a day and eat more green stuff (gag).  I know I should do wayyyyyy more than that but it’s a start.

#4 Spend more time learning new worship choruses for our church.  Music is my heartbeat and I’m so excited about the group that just completed our church’s Ministry Matters  course.  They will be a HUGE help in our music department.

So here is to a fresh new year, a clean slate, and hopefully some firsts.

Matthew 6:33: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

MIRROR

I don’t like to see myself as I sometimes am - full of faults, negativity, and doubt

Yet when I see those things in my neighbor I find myself wanting to shout

Look! Look at them! Don’t they see they are on a downward slide?

But if I’m honest, I’ll admit… my own mirror is often corroded in ugly putrid pride

It’s imperative that I take the time for self reflection

Stop looking at myself with so much affection

Study, pray, and put my carnal self away

Humble and righteous, I must stay

Humble and righteous, I simply must stay!

This world and its junk it’s all going to burn away

The homes, the cars…things will all become a lump of coal

Would it be worth it to gain it all and lose my soul?

You see, I can’t live by my feelings because feelings change

It’s around His unfailing word my life must be arranged

His precious Word, may not always seem clear

But if I put forth effort and have a pure heart, He will draw me near

Though my flesh and spirit will always wrestle

Here I am God a broken and open vessel

My prayer is that my mirror remain unclouded

So You can live in me, gleaming and unshrouded
-Gina Henry Crites

Change

Change

This year, I have acquired a taste for onions and tomatoes, which until now totally disgusted me.  .

Curiosity hit me so I googled “change in taste”.  It turns out, children have taste buds on the tongue, roof of the mouth, and sides of the cheeks but as a person ages they begin to lose them and what remains are mostly just taste buds on the tongue.  So… things that were once too strong, become bearable.  

I began to ponder on things that used to trouble me but no longer do.

-Making every single person in my life happy.  If God is happy, my husband’s happy and my boss is happy than I am OK.  I am graaaaadually learning I don’t have to be perfect in everyone’s eyes.

-Driving a nice sports car.  I LOVE sports cars, but these days a paid for economical car is more impressive to me. 

-Having a jet setting, important job.  I used to crave it…yearn for it.  I felt the need to have an “important” job.  Now, I don’t.  Personally, for me, I know what I can handle and with the added role of a pastor’s wife (which I LOVE) I can’t have a stressful 8:00-5:00 job as well.  I am THANKFUL for the job I have and  sooooo glad I can turn it off and hit the door at 4:00PM (most days).

              I then began to think of small things that are important to me that I want to remain important. 

-Laughing until my stomach hurts

-Daydreaming

-Kissing my husband every day when we see each other after work and before we leave in the morning.  (Yes, even if we are mad at each other.)

-Having down time

-Spending time with my family

There are also big, serious things I can not lose sight of or let become unimportant to me.

-I can do more for God.

-I can reach people and tell them about the love of Christ.

-I must stand firm in the truth.

-I must never think I am perfect or that I have “arrived”.  I’m just a dirty rotten sinner who has to die daily.

-With as many messed up lives I come across; I must still have patience and show them love…. because God has been patient with me and loves me despite all my failures.

-When I’m wrong, I need to admit it and seek forgiveness.

-Life can be hurtful and unfair…. but when I look back most of those times have drawn me closer to the Peace Speaker.

-I must be consistent in my walk with God.

-I must love, unselfishly.

-I must love, more.

-I must love.

Side note to all you grammar lovers…..Sorry, I never did that well in English. : )

Money Money Money Money.... Money!!

I don’t spend money often.  Honestly, there isn’t much I want and typically I don’t impulse buy.  I have my tightwad mom to thank for that. Haha.  Love you mom.  Granted, the things I do want are not cheap…wood floors…deck…back patio, flowers for my lawn, a pistol.  I think I have my dad to thank for most of those desires!  For me, having money saved before purchasing an item gives me a feeling of satisfaction.  I have been thru the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace class and although it sounds cliché, it really did change my life.  (Thank you Living Word Church & Sis Mc.!) The class helped me realize I wasn’t as smart with money as I thought. Though I never spent much per item, I would buy sale items…needed or not.  Seriously, how many black skirts, kitchen gadgets, hair clips, purses etc does one girl need? What follows are not all of the steps Dave Ramsey recommends but they are what helped me the most.  Click here for a link to Dave Ramsey’s site where you can learn more about his financial peace course, conferences and purchase books.

The first step is to build a $1,000 emergency fund.  THIS IS IMPORTANT.  It doesn’t matter how much you make or how many bills you have, start saving for this and don’t touch it unless there is an EMERGENCY.   A new purse, shoes, window tenting etc. are not emergencies!  Even if at this point all you have is $5/week to put in the fund, get started!  Countless times we have needed to dip into our emergency fund and would have been in a serious mess if we didn’t have the fund.  Our fridge went kaplunk, HVAC and electrical work on the house, car repairs, new tires, dental/medical bills, and the list goes on.  Life happens to everyone.

The second step is to pay off all debt.  Mortgage is not considered a debt because it should gain in value.                                 

The third step is to save 3-6 months worth of expenses.  It is to be used if one or both spouses lose a job or a catastrophic event happens.  This step can and probably will take years but it can be done.  Little by little, sacrifice by sacrifice.  We don’t have a television and although the main reason is because it’s mostly trash and one more thing to snatch up my precious time...it also costs money.    There are tons of money saving ideas…eat beans and rice, cut out cable and internet, disconnect the land line, don’t by an x-box and games, stop buying alcohol/cigarettes/dip and teeth-rotting-sodas.  Click here for an excellent list of money saving ideas.   You don’t have to do it forever, just long enough to pay down debt and save.   Dave Ramsey says, “Live like no one else so later you can live like no one else.”  Get it?

After our emergency fund was complete, we set up saving funds for vacation, misc. things we want to buy, money for college, and a fund so we can help people, sponsor an orphan, etc.  If we can’t first manage our own finances we can’t help others and as Christians we are called to help others…. Leviticus 23:22 And when ye reap the harvest of your land, thou shalt not make clean riddance of the corners of thy field when thou reapest, neither shalt thou gather any gleaning of thy harvest: thou shalt leave them unto the poor, and to the stranger: I am the LORD your God.  

If you have debt, no emergency fund, and/or no 3-6 months of savings funds…I encourage you to start now.  The time is NOW, not tomorrow!  If you don’t change the way you spend and start saving, your financial lifestyle is not going to change…. EVER. Remember, they say the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.   

If you ever need help setting up a budget, please let me!  It makes my heart sing, I’m a nerd like that. 

We have made progress decreasing our spending  but we are not even close to perfect.  Recently, I’ve found holes in our budget and feel we are wasting money on senseless things.  It CONVICTS me.  While I’m buying breakfast because I’m too lazy to get out of bed and make my own…. there is a shoeless baby somewhere with a hungry belly and a missionary driving a piece of junk van with over 300,000 miles and loads of problems.  I can’t help them if I’m wasting the money God has given me. 

It’s soooo easy to buy $5 Tuesday Tacos, $5 Wed Enchiladas, and $5 Pizza….but it adds up!  My challenge to myself over the next few months is to cook more and in turn spend less on food.  Home cooked meals are healthier anyway.  I’m even going to have a few vegetables in a container garden this year.  Hopefully, I won’t murder the poor plants.    It sure wouldn’t be the first time.

Below are scriptures on the subject of money.  This list contains just a few of the many scriptures on money.  Evidently, how we manage our money is a big deal to God. 

Haggai 2:8 The silver is mine and the gold is mine saith the Lord of hosts.

Acts 20:35  I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

Luke 14: 28-30  For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him, Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.

Proverbs 6:6-8 Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. 

Psalms 37:21  The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth.

Ecclesiastes 5:5 Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.

Proverbs 3:9-10 Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase: So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine. 

Malachi 3: 8-10 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation. Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it

Soon I will post a list of my favorite money saving websites.  Do you have any you recommend?

When I Can't, He Can

Recently, I was asked to speak to a small ladies group and let me tell you, honestly, I wanted to say NO WAY!  I would rather run 5 miles and this girl does not enjoy running.   I would rather eat tree bark.  I would rather do a lot of things.  Why you ask? Because what follows is typical Gina when speaking to a group (large or small).

My heart pounds, my palms sweat, my uncomfortable strained wobbly voice speaks way to fast.   My self-depreciating thoughts begin to run rampant…….. What if I say the wrong word?  What if I lose my place?  What if I’m not clear and talk in circles? What if my tag is sticking out?   Wonder if they will see these stinking grey hairs that have popped up overnight? Oh gross- my fingernails need to be filed!  What if I trip and fall in front of everyone?  What if I OFFEND someone?  I wonder if they will notice I have gained weight…again!?!  No lie or exaggeration, these are the thoughts that plague me EVERY TIME I am asked to speak to a group, whether it is at work or even a prayer request at church.  I am 31 yrs old.  I thought I’d be over this by now.

When I was first asked to speak, I didn’t plan on inviting my church ladies purely because it would just make me even more nervous.  Larger audience + people I respect and admire = Babbling Psycho Gina.  When I told my husband, he gave me the “look”.  (The pastors about to step on your toes and you’ll thank him later kind of look)  “Don’t you think the Heartland ladies might enjoy fellowshipping with other Christians? Maybe they need to be uplifted spiritually?”  Ouch.  I was starting to see the spiritual picture he sees ….I had an opportunity to bless people, to encourage them, to introduce them to new friends and I was only looking out for myself.  I’m pretty good at looking out for myself… what is best for me today…what will make MY life easier… how can I take pressure off…. how can I cut a corner.   

I once asked an amazing speaker if she gets nervous and without pause she replied, “No because I have something to say I believe people need to hear”.  As I think back, all my questions and thoughts were me focused and not Him focused.    I should have instead been asking myself…..have I sufficiently prayed and communed with the Lord so I will be sensitive enough to feel his direction? Am I giving God my best in every area of my life?  Am I putting Him first?  Am I honoring Him with my time, money, and the blessings He has given me?  

A wise woman I honor and respect once told me, “it’s not about perfection, it’s about progress.”  While on this earth, I’m not going to be the perfect person I want to be but  I must keep striving to do better, to pray more, to study more, to give more…. The devil would LOVE for me to feel not worthy to speak, not spiritual enough to lead in prayer and worship, not smart enough to speak up at work.  He wants to limit me because he is scared of me.  When I feel like I can’t do something, I need to shake off this flesh and put on the full armor of God.  I must remember thru Him I have power over the enemy.   I must get it thru my thick head that….when I can’t, He can.